Mr. Sweeney

So this blog is for and about the kids but I got some news yesterday that hit me pretty hard and thought it might help to write.

Tuesday evening, my eighth grade teacher ended his own life. I say teacher because that is what he was but he was so much more than that. He was a shoulder to cry on when I was upset over a boy, a supporter when I got an "A" in French or was cast in the school play and above all a friend. It hurts so much to know that he was in pain and thought that that was the answer. He touched so many lives and I don't know how he didn't know that there were thousands of "shoulders". Supporters. Friends.

I feel like this will be one of those losses that I never completely move past. One of those "what ifs" that I will still be asking myself twenty years from now.

Mr. James Sweeney- you were loved. I hope that even if you had forgotten that in life, that in death you can now see that. And I hope you are in peace.

Happy Birthday, Cousin Maggie!

On Sunday, we went down to Rhode Island to celebrate Maggie's first birthday.

We were very excited about this! Well almost all of us...

We did eventually perk up and had good "cousin bonding".

Auntie Annie made a really cool pinata and we had a fun time trying to break it open!

Maggie is so smart- she even blew her own candle out!

We really liked the cake!

And were sad when it was over...

Happy Birthday, Maggie! We love you!

Fall is in the Air!

This weekend we went to Brookdale Farm to do some apple picking.

The kids ate more apples than they picked!

They had a blast petting the animals and climbing on the haystacks, too.

At the end of our visit though, everyone was definitely "tuckered out"!

A great "first" weekend of fall!

Labor Day in Francestown

This past weekend we all went out to my parents' home in Francestown for Labor Day and their anniversary. 29 years- phew!

My Dad is the general manager at a Volvo dealership (the same one he has been working at for over 40 years- double phew!) and one perk is that we get to "test drive" some of the very nice cars that Volvo makes. He brought home their hard-top convertiable for the weekend and we took the kids out to Dodge Farmstand in it. (Later that weekend Vinny would proceed to throw his toy truck out the open roof of that car!)

The kids had a blast at Dodge's! There were antique tractors that they could sit on and pretend to drive!

As well as mini-versions to maneuver around the place!

There were lots of animals to pet- the goats were a favorite for my children.

And there was yummy ice cream to be had! When we got back to my parents' house, Isabella wanted to show me all the strides she had made in horseback riding.

She tacked up "Grennie" all by herself.

And then she (and everyone else!) hopped on!

My favorite moment was this:

That night we had a lobster/clam bake- our last hurrah of summer. Where did it go???

The following morning we woke up and headed into town for the 5k and kids run. Isabella did a great job in the kids run!

Bruce, Jen and Dad ran the 5k, Mike and Isabella "jogged" and Mom, Vinny and I walked. It was a great to start the day! Afterwards we headed back to get something to eat but as we had promised to take Isabella to the parade, it was a quick stop. At this point we were all a bit tired but I am soooo glad that we did take her because... she got to be in the parade! Our good friend, Deb Williams, had Isabella help her daughter (and our flower girl!) Ella carry the banner in the parade! They were adorable!

It was such a great family weekend. I love spending Labor Day back home as nothing has really changed over the years. You can't say that about many places. This will defintely be something I miss when we move to Minnesota!

A letter to my daughter

Dear Isabella-

I am writing you this letter knowing that you probably won't read it for years. That's ok.

I need you to know how special you are to me. I am so proud of the little girl that you have become and know that you will be a success in first grade. I know that you will make many wonderful friendships, learn lots of new things and will gain even more confidence in yourself. I look forward to the afternoons, when you get home, and hearing all about your day. I look forward to the smiles on your face each morning as you get ready to catch the bus, full of excitement for the day ahead.

I feel all this happiness but if I were to be completely honest with both you and myself, it is bittersweet. I ache so much for the little baby I held in my arms. I look at pictures of you as a chubby toddler and wonder when you lost your baby fat and grew so tall. I wish that you were still a preschooler and that all you needed to learn could be taught by me. It's so hard to have you gone all day; I find myself often opening the door to your room, sitting down on your bed and hugging "Paulie the Penguin" wishing that it were you.

I think it is realizing that my role as your mom is changing. And it won't stop changing. I wish that I could slow down time and maybe even go back and do things differently. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. You made me a mom and that's a gift that no one else could ever top.

My hope for you is that you will have a beautiful life. I hope you always remember what is important and who you are. I hope you never compromise yourself and your beliefs for anyone else. And I hope that you achieve everything that you set your mind to. I will be there every step of the way to help you get there and to "slay" any "dragons" that stand in your way.

You are only six years old and you are the most beautiful, wisest, loving person I know. I am honored to have you as my daughter.

I am your mother forever and I love you.

xoxo Mommy